This is a long One.

It’s funny how there’s a part of me right now wanting to be old. To have that wrinkled forehead, wearing those thick lenses, walking at a slow pace, and forgetting a few things most of the times. It’s funny because to think that I am just eighteen still trying to figure out what life really is.

Well, undeniably normal teenagers would live their life in a present pace taking things one at a a time. Facing the consequences to each mistake and all that. But really, I don’t understand myself. The fact that when my friends are being asked to describe me all they would say is “the future thinker” which I am. I don’t like living in the moment but perhaps, trying to keep up with the moment and see what it could do to my future.

Basically, it’s like me travelling to a new place, gets super excited and by the time I’m there in that situation.. I breathe. Look to my left and right then up in the sky and end it with a smile. Straight to doing something remarkable and think what would be it’s reaction to my coming days.

I love grown-up stuffs. The things they eat, the way the do things, the pressure, all in all, the life. The fast paced life. The catching up with time. Because the next thing I want after a long day is a bed where I would think about all my accomplishments on that day and start a new list of goals. When I was younger, that list should always be done by night. But as I get older it gets tougher. I didn’t know time could start sprinting and then the next thing you know you’re barely catching up. I love the excitement, the tension, everything about the adult life.

And most importantly, why I want to be old as early as I could… Is to know my life’s purpose and end it without regrets. At all. Geez, life for me is too vague. I always say “Life Sucks” or “Life’s a Bitch” but in the end, I love it.

Seriously speaking, I want to be old and start leading my own life deciding and facing everything for myself. By then, I’ll know my purpose. And if so, Father Almighty make the time go faster for me.